Matt, calm down boy

My friend John R once said “Matt is jealous of you” and I didn’t believe it, and couldn’t see why he would be. But after the weekend, I kinda wonder of there is some kinda jealousy or inferiority complex, or trying to justify himself, to himself going on.

We were going to footie, and he starts on about some house he’s buying in Shropshire “Yes, I’m looking around £400K” “Okay I say, check the settlement boundary if you plan to extend” “Oh I’m not going to extend, I’m buying a listed building” “Fair enough” says I. “I don’t want to live in fucking Legoland”1

“Will you come and visit me in my mansion in Shropshire then?”2 “Sure, can’t wait, let me know when you buy it”

“You were stupid buying that house of yours in Basingstoke you know” 3 “You mean the one that’s gone from £150K to £300K in five years, surely not” “Yes, you could have invested the money better, like me as my property company is worth gazillions now” 4

“Vafa was ugly and had a big nose, blah, blah” 5

“I love Diane and I made a good choice” 6

“Big load of crap about my car(?)” 7

So pejoratives:

1. Like many other people, I live in a house built in the 1980’s ~ So what. Personally I’d never live in a listed building, as I think they offer poor accommodation at an inflated price, and I don’t want the government saying I can’t develop my house, but, each to his own
2. £400K buys you a nice house, but NOT a mansion, they are several million, even in cheap Shropshire. And, the girlfriend gets the mortgage, not matey boy, so whose house is it really?
3. This is just wrong, 100% tax free return in five years? Take it every time.
4. Good luck to anyone who can, but matey boy invested 50/50 with his dad, so access to capital is easier. Fine by me, but don’t over “big your self up” on it.
5. Everyone I know, thought Vafa was very beautiful (hell to live with, but beautiful) and anyway, each to his own, right ?
6. This is the best. On hols with his ex-g/f he meets this plain jane chick who clearly wants a hubby, and as it turns out she’s earning loads and from a rich family, two months later, he’s proposed ! Again, each to his own but are you kidding me?
7. No actually this is the best. His car is an okay sports model. His Dad bought it for him. Good luck and well done, but Puleease don’t take the piss outta me, ‘cos daddy got you a nice car

I guess John R, you were right.